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To these amateur eyes, she was great, a wonder even, as she spun and snapped and quick-stepped through her jive. Of course, you can qualify your reaction by saying that she was great considering that she's deaf, that it's hard to believe she can't hear the music. But she was just flat-out great. That, in fact, she can't hear the music and yet still is able to not just be in time with the the beat, but do so in a way that appears natural and unforced is nothing short of remarkable. And then here came the judges and their nitpicking -- best of all was Carrie Ann Inaba complaining about Ms. Matlin's "pancakey hands." Then came the scores, three 7s.

Next up was Steve Guttenberg -- "the Gute" as he has come to be known in these first three weeks of DWTS. About his tango, you can say two things: He was much better than last week. And he still was terrible. Chided last week for his animated facial expressions, he was the stone-faced seductor this week. It was even more comical than his Howdy-Dopdy hijinks. He was stiff and his partner, Anna Trebunskaya, wisely choreographed a routine that called on him to mostly stand still while she twirled around him. But the judges were all kisses and compliments before giving him -- that's right -- three 7s.

I understand that judging dance is inherently subjective, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, that there are no objective absolutes. That said, the assertion that these two dances were the same, neither better than the other, is absolutely wrong.

And it was like that all night, with the judges being alternately overly effusive (to Priscilla Presley tepid tango, Len Goodman enthused that it was "simply brilliant) and unaccountably nitpicky (to Jason Taylor's cool and crisp jive the judges complained about incidental details before giving him a 23, three points less than Priscilla -- again, an indefensible break with reality).

You can dismiss it all as part of the "fun" of Dancing with the Stars, but when the reality and the results are so out of whack, fun can quickly curdle into frustration. Speaking of which, Kristi Yamaguchi once again turned in the highest-scoring performance. What a surprise! Oh wait a minute, no it's not, I just remembered: She's a profession ice skater, so she's spent her life learning how to dance on ice. To all those out there who defend her amateur dancer status and think it completely fine and not at all a joke that she's competing here, let me ask you this: How much (or should I say 'how many years of') ballroom dance training do you think she received on her way to winning a gold medal in figure skating? I understand that dancing in heels is different than dancing in skates, "different" in this case meaning "easier."

Anyway, Monday night was a chance to see genuine amateurs actually becoming better dancers -- Christian de la Fuente,Jason Taylor, Shannon Elizabeth, even Adam Corolla are people who came into this competition with no dancing skills or experience. It's been fun watching them get better. And then there's Kristi spinning and swooping with the precision of someone who, you know, has been dancing all her life. My prediction: a backlash is building among fans. Kristi will never make it to the finals.

As for tomorrow night's elimination: Worst dance of the night was the Gute, but he's got his Police Academy fanbase working for him. My prediction: the annoying Marissa Jaret Winokur will get the gong..